Welcome To The Boudoir: Betony Vernon

Betony Vernon is much more than a sexual anthropologist. She is a sensualist, an artist, a designer, a writer and a bohemian. I happened upon her site one day whilst I was digging around on the internet for lingerie, I’m not really sure how I got there but I am so happy I did.

Her jewellery serves as not only as an adornment but an object that can bring about pleasure, her writing is sexual poetry, her style speaks of ultimate bohemian glamour.

Please visit her site betonyvernon.com to find out more about this majestic creature.

Betony
Photography by Elodie Chapuis
Betony Vernon Silver Rings
StyleLikeU

Hand PieceBetony Vernon Silver ShoesSado Chic

Being your True Self – Welcome To StyleLikeU

 

SLU

Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.

Kurt Cobain

I have been following the StyleLikeU Youtube channel for a while now. It is packed full of wonderful interviews with people living their lives creatively. It is run by a mother-daughter team whose primary focus is to empower people to accept and express their true selves. The whole idea of this has inspired me to share this project with you. I am yet to purchase it but they have just released, what looks like a gorgeous book packed full of amazing people –expect a review of that soon.

Over the years I have realised that fashion is only fashion if you follow. Your personal style isn’t fashion. It is an extension of your soul; if you ripped out my guts right now it would be dressed in black fringe, glitter and a demon leather jacket. I am just projecting what I feel inside. I am not dressing to impress, I am not showing off my wealth nor am I pretending to be someone else just to fit in. This is why I enjoy the videos so much, these people are unapologetically themselves and they tell us why. StylelikeU dissects the artist, the person, the bohemian in a way that only leads to self-acceptance.

My favourite video is of Stav Bee,  a performance artist and DJ based in London. She has a fierce demeanor that is so inspiring, I see a lot of myself in her especially when it comes to letting people into her life, formulas, being different and facing death.

“There’s no formula to love, no formula to be a human being, no formula to be a worker, and there’s no formula to how to live.”

I am going to share the video with you and hope you look through their other videos to inspire that soul to come on out and enjoy itself through the world of creativity.

The Art Of Change

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“How in the hell could a man enjoy being awakened at 8:30 a.m. by an alarm clock, leap out of bed, dress, force-feed, shit, piss, brush teeth and hair, and fight traffic to get to a place where essentially you made lots of money for somebody else and were asked to be grateful for the opportunity to do so? ” -Charles Bukowski

Get up at 6am. Force food down your throat. Get dressed. Get out the door. Sit in the office for 8-12 hours. Eat lunch quickly. Go home. Eat. Go to bed. Repeat.

“Sorry love, that’s life” says your Mother.

“Sorry love, it’s not” I say to my daughter.

OK, so I don’t have a daughter but if I chose to live my life again, I would tell myself that working just to live is the most soul destroying action a human can ever undertake. The only exception is if you have your dream job. If you don’t, then your life is wasting away as you constantly wish for Friday, you wish for payday, you wish for Christmas breaks…you are wishing your life away.

What if we were just to STOP? Just for a moment…

What if we were to take a long bath instead of that quick shower?

What if we made a delicious dinner rather than chucking something in the microwave?

What if we ignored the clock? YES, ignore the clock. Don’t watch the clock, listen to yourself, your human clock and let that decide what to do. Eat when you feel hungry, drink when you feel thirsty, go to bed when you are tired. When did we stop listening to our bodies?

It has been such an eye opener over the past couple of years; the media have been publishing articles on how to beat depression and anxiety. It is a huge problem because we live in a world that is moving too fast, too much is expected from us. We simply can’t cope – even if we look happy on the outside, we are crumbling inside. We ache for peace so we buy things we don’t need when what we have inside us is really the gift we should be buying ourselves – happiness. If only we would stop to let it out.

This year, on a personal level, I let it all out. The biggest frustration in my life was the travelling I did to get to work. I found myself missing the essential pieces of getting myself together in the mornings. Now, I have a ritual of mindfully drinking tea, taking in the air of the morning in the garden, eating my breakfast and reading my cards for the day. Now, I have control over myself instead of the other way around. I asked if I could change my working hours – they said yes. There is no shame in asking to move things around, if it makes you more productive and then why would they disagree?

This isn’t about being selfish, it is about taking control of your life from the inside. If you feel you need deep internal change then get to it.

Write out a list of things you want to change and move through them one by one.

Never assume people will say no.  

Just ask.

Remember what makes you happy even if you dance to your favourite song in the morning or wander on the grass without your shoes on.

Don’t listen to what you should be doing.

Ignore what “they say” you should do.

Listen to yourself.

Be yourself.

Love yourself.

 

Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things

“Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.” – Salvador Dali

Minimalism

Dali is right. Perfection is just an illusion; it is like jumping on a trampoline trying to catch the moon. You can jump and jump but you won’t get there, not without a rocket and even then you might not like it. This is the common thread that runs through Minimalism: A Documentary About the Important Things. Joshua Fields Millburn & Ryan Nicodemus, known as “The Minimalists” led “perfect lives” yet they were unhappy. They decided to take on a minimalist lifestyle so they could bring meaning back into their lives.

The world lives on social media and we always seem so concerned with what everyone else is doing. With Photoshop and Instagram filters, we see a perfect life from the people we follow, Facebook users filter out the rubbish pictures and make their holiday, their wedding, they nights out seem perfect. From cars to clothes to shoes…people seem to be cavorting their collections around social media. Does it make them happy? I doubt it.

This documentary really highlights the problems we have. We live in a world where everyone is trying to sell us something, telling us what we should and shouldn’t be doing and that having lots of something that is expensive is completely normal. Material items are status symbols rather than pieces that we truly adore. We are buying to justify our rubbish day at the office. We buy to numb our senses not to open up them. Does this sound familiar?

Minimalism doesn’t mean you have to live in an empty house. You just need to be more thoughtful about what you own and what you buy. This isn’t about saving money; it is about truly loving everything you own and leading a simpler and happier life. I will leave you with the final quote from the film:

Love people, use things. Not the other way around.

The film is currently available on Netflix/Amazon/iTunes and you can find out more here